Since the time I stopped repressing my memories I was very, very fond of this whole dirigible thing. Like obese, steel-reinforced robo-whales, they cruise the sky, moving monocle-wearing posh people from one tea party to the other.

Or at least, that what should’ve been. One Zeppelin goes down in flames, and the next thing you know they put all their efforts in those fancy shmancy aeroplanes, with their “speed” and “massive payloads”. I mean, look at them! They’re not supposed to fly!

For those of you who don’t dig this dirigible idea straight away, here are several reasons why they can use your average airplane as crumpets. Metaphorically speaking (the diagrams below are not drawn to scale, as dirigibles tend to dwarf everything else with their awesomeness):

1. You can fly with your window open

In addition to enjoying fresh air without being sucked out of the window to the Freefall of Death, this opens many other options:

2. It’s not a metal tube with wings

3. More efficient for multi-leg flights

This is how you should board a vehicle, and damned be the complaints of those first-class passengers. If it works at the movies it should work for them too:

4. Works as an anti-pigeon battleship

5. They handle empty fuel tanks much, much better